Exhausted

I have been doing more in the last couple of weeks than I have done in about 4 months, and its completely knocked me sideways. I'm soooo tired! I have however managed to find energy from somewhere and got on OK with it all. Which I suppose is a good thing!


My weekly schedule:
Monday: 9.30-11.30 Chemistry Tutor
                1.30-3.00 English


Tuesday: 11.30-1.30 Biology


Wednesday: 8.40 Doctors Appointment
                     1.30-3 RE


Thursday: 11.00-12.00 Anxiety Counselling
                  2.00-3.00 Physics


Friday: Finish any homework I've been given


Saturday/Sunday: relaaaaxxx!!


To someone who is fit and well that may seem like nothing, but after just two weeks of this I'm exhausted. I just about manage to get myself together over the weekend for it all to start again on Monday.


This week has been extra difficult for me as well because my mum is away. I feel slightly like I'm treading water with out her away because she is the only person who knows how to properly calm me down when I get stressed or over anxious or have a panic attack. She has been there from the beginning and understands it all the best.  Having my councillor just a phone call away has been really useful and my dad has been lovely, but I think a weight will be lifted when my mum gets back. (jeez I sound so lame!... oh well.)


I used to be embarrassed to say I went to counselling, but now I know that without it I would be so much further behind with my recovery and she has helped me enormously. I would recommend going to see a councillor to anyone in my situation. It's surprising how just talking and getting all your feelings out to someone other than friends or family can help you, but trust me it really does.


In the last few weeks and haven't helped but feel like I've been forgotten by some of my friends. I know I haven't, but in the back of my mind I can't help but worry about it. I think it's just because being at home 24/7 can get very lonely. I saw a friend of mine on Wednesday though and she is the absolute definition of short and sweet (I love you Brony!). She completely eliminated all thoughts of being forgotten so I'm taking this opportunity to say thank you. So thanks Brony, your amazing! 
I think I have also been quite selfish while dealing with all this, I'm not the only person going through a tough time at the moment and I have a tendancy to think I am. So I'm sorry to everyone about that.


(I would also recommend keeping a blog like this one to those suffering from CFS/M.E/anxiety. It has helped me loads and loads.)



After leaving this up for just under an hour I got this text from a friend:
'YOUR NOT FORGOTTEN ABOUT. DONT
YOU DARE THINK THAT. YOUR THE
SUN TO OUR SHINE. LACES TO OUR
SHOES. TINKY TO OUR..er..WINKY
YOU PUT THE P IN POTTER. YOU MAKE
THE HAKUNA, MATATA. YOUR THE
MILK FROM THE COW TO PUT IN OUR
TEA. YOU ARE NOT OUT OF MIND.
YOU ARE LOTTIE DEAKIN. AND YOU,
MY FRIEND, ARE AMAZING. YOUR THE
KNIFE TO THE FORK. YOUR THE PORK
TO THE CHOP. YOU ARE A WIZARD
HARRY XXXXXXXXX'
awww thank you Shannon, I love you millions and trillions!