Anxiety and Panic Attacks

I feel like I don't really talk about this much on here, even though I wanted this to be primarily about anxiety its kind of got pushed to the curb a little. I think it's something that more people suffer from so I'm going to do my best to explain it for those who might not understand so much.

No one has control over what they are scared of. It's human nature to be fearful of some things. Some fears are rational, some aren't. Usually (not always) when you suffer from an anxiety disorder it because you have an irrational fear of something that has gone a bit extreme. With me my fear is being sick/fainting. I am terrified of being physically sick. I don't know why, I cant explain it, I just always have been. For most people this may seem ridiculous. Nothing dangerous can happen to you from being sick. In fact being sick can save your life. I understand all this but it still scares me to the point that feeling sick can lead to panic attacks. Which makes things worse because panicking slows down your digestive system making you feel even more sick! So it's kind of lose-lose!

I used to think that having bad anxiety had completely ruined my whole life and I would never be the same again. For 6 months I hardly left my house. It's something that unless you've been through it you can't really comprehend. A fear so bad that it stops you enjoying life.

Imagine it like this, if something really makes you jump - like watching a scary film - your heart beats a bit faster and your body produces adrenaline making you feel nervous and you get 'butterflies'. When you jump all this happens in a split second. For someone with severe anxiety they feel like this for a lot longer, sometimes permanently. It can worsen into a panic attack. Some panic attacks I've had I actually worried that there was something wrong with my heart. Sounds and sights become louder and more vivid and even if your out in the open you can feel incredibly claustrophobic. Your heart beats so fast and so hard, you lose your breath even though you could be sitting down. Your body shakes and sometimes people faint. It's horrendous. It's something I wouldn't even wish on my worst enemy.

But you can learn to control anxiety. You can learn to rationalise your thoughts and make them more positive. It's something I'm working on and it is slowly getting much much better. If you do suffer from anxiety I would absolutely suggest getting help of some kind. More people than you think suffer from it, and more people than you think recover from it. So please, open up and talk to someone about it, if there's one thing I've learnt its that people are much more empathetic than you might think. I know I won't have it forever. And I know I'll be a more understanding, less judgemental person because of it.

I think also for anyone who knows someone with anxiety and has been with them when they've been scared will know that it's really difficult to try and make the situation better. There are some do's and don't's that I think you should and shouldn't say or do, for example:

DON'T
-Say things such as 'just calm down', 'relax' or 'what are you even scared of?'. Telling them to relax/calm down won't make the slightest bit of difference. If they could then obviously they would, and wouldn't be in that situation in the first place! Asking what they are scared of is a major no-no. Some of the time I never even knew what it was that I was getting frightened of, and if someone asked me it would keep me focused on what I was panicking about and so encourage negative thoughts. Make sense?

-Try and hug/hold their hand/touch them without them initiating it. Panic can cause all sorts of weird things in your body and can make someone feel really claustrophobic. I know that hugging them can feel like you're trying to calm them down but it can actually make things worse. So instead just stay by their side close enough so that if they need to hold your hand or your arm that they can easily do so.

DO
- Remind them that panicking won't kill them. You CAN NOT die from a panic attack. Its so so rare for anything serious to happen because of one and they only last a maximum of 20 minutes.

-Try and encourage them to focus on their breathing, tell them to take deep breaths and talk to them in a gentle way. Don't get annoyed if they can't do it, just keep reminding them that they are safe.

-Go where they want to go. If they want to leave, leave. Don't make them stay where they don't want to be. If you're on a train or bus, promise to get off with them at the next stop. Even if you have to stop 4 times before you get where you need to be, they need you to stay with them. If their at your house, offer to take them home/call their parents. It may cause you slight inconvenience but keeping them in a situation that they don't want to be in will only make things worse. My school made me stay when I was having panic attacks, and for absolutely ages I was terrified of even driving past there.

Obviously I'm not a professional, and some people may tell you differently. But these are things that I would suggest and I know work for me. I hope that maybe you feel you understand a bit more now, or maybe you can just relate a little bit.  Thank you for reading it, I know this post is reeeeeeeeeally long and probably really boring haha! It'll be more light hearted next time ♥


Zoella did a video on it that explains things perfectly (much better than me!) You can watch it here:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7-iNOFD27G4&noredirect=1

Lottie x

My Life Aim

Having a lot of spare time gives me a lot of time to think. Thinking too hard about things can sometimes be bad, and the thing I think about most is my future. Sometimes I worry that this will be my life for a lot longer than I would have ever anticipated and so everything will get slowed down even more. But mostly I think about how I want things to change and how I don't want this to be my life for a really long time. I want to get better and I want to be normal and happy and do everything I want to. Whether it be travel around the world, or just get the job I've always wanted. I want to be able to do anything I want to, and I know that if I work really hard then I can.

I'm definitely doing A levels next year and I'm desperate to eventually go to university. Having very few GCSEs puts me at a major disadvantage. Especially as what I want to do at university is an extremely competitive field (Veterinary Science). I know some people think I'm not capable but I don't care. I believe I can do it, and I feel that just by believing in yourself means you're already part way there. I know that the next three years are going to be tough. I know I have to work my little socks off but it's what I want more than anything in the world. No one can predict their future and things my change; but as of now it's my life aim. I'm going to do it. I'm not going to let anyone or anything stop me from achieving what I really really want.

Lottie x

Happy New Year! - Oh how things have changed!

So after saying I would do this really regularly I then didn't post for a month.. Woops! I hope you all had lovely Christmases! Mine was amazing! So jolly and it was really nice to see all of my family, yay!

I've been thinking a lot recently about how I have changed as a person throughout all of this. For a while I didn't think I had, but when I really start looking at back at my life 2 years ago I realise that I actually am very different. Not nessecarily personality wise, but more in the way I think and the way my mind works.
I believe there are four main things to keeping happy and they are as follows: Friends, Family, Health and Hobbies. Most other things are a privalidge (apart from the necessities we need to stay alive, obviously!).

2 years ago my thoughts on this were way out of wack. I was much more concerned about what people thought of me, how I looked, how I came across as a person, whether I was pretty enough or skinny enough or if I had nice clothes. All these things I do still think about but if I'm having an 'off day' then that's fine. We all have them! I've come to the realisation that no one can be perfect all of the time, and to be honest - it's too much effort!! I was so worried about what other people thought of me that I was focusing entirely on the wrong thing. It mattered much more to me what others thought than my studies or hobbies and now, although I still care, I'm focused on my future. What things hold for me in the coming years and what I want to aim for. Life has thrown some curveballs at me but I'm learning to handle them and when it's all blown over I will come out the other side a much better version of myself, and I hope others will agree.

Having spent so little time with friends it's made me realise how special they all are to me, although I don't talk to as many people as I did before I'm much more grateful to the ones who have stuck it out with me, so thanks guys! (I'm sure you know who you are :) )
My family have always been so amazing throughout all of this, I've really realised how blessed I am to have such supportive relatives as I do. I don't even want to imagine life without them!
When it comes to health things aren't perfect, but when I look back even 6 months when I couldn't see the light at the end I am amazed at how things have changed, and I am so determined to keep on the up!
Hobbies is a difficult one because I get so tired. But volunteering has given me something to look forward to in the week, meeting new people from all sorts of different backgrounds is really inspiring. I'm very focused now on goals I have for the future and what I want to achieve when things get back to normal - WHICH THEY WILL!! Haha!
I hope to continue thinking this way and keep my head straight on the things that really matter ♥

So here's to 2013, a fresh start and a new beginning. I wish you all the very very best -Happy New Year everyone!

Lottie x